Update!

It has been a long 8 months since I last wrote. I have been on a seemingly endless roller coaster called life. And life has brought me down so many times I've lost count. I just wanted to write a few words and to say that this blog is still alive:) At a later date I will be writing about one major obstacle that I have encountered and am still struggling with. I am excited to write this story, but at the same time I dread the moment when I post it for the world to see. But I know that I need to tell my story so that other people know they are not alone in this widely common struggle.

Until then, remember that you are worth more than you know. You are awesome, never forget that! Come what may, and love it.

Heartbreak

Heartbreak doesn't always have to be because you just broke up with your significant other. It also occurs when you realize that a friend isn't making the necessary effort in keeping the friendship together. If the person doesn't make the effort to even talk to you, it's time to let the friendship go. This is my lesson in learning to let go, I guess.

Growing Pains

The pains of growing up:

Letting go of the people who don't make you happy anymore

Learning that not every guy will want to marry you
Difficult trials
Realizing who your real friends are
Facing the real world and all it entails

 
The joys of growing up:

Enjoying each new day 
Watching the sun set
Spending time with family
Having those tough times to make you a stronger person
Reminiscing the good ole days 
Making new friends 
Having that one friend I can talk to about anything


(There are many more pains and joys in life, but these are the only ones I could come up with).

In the end, the joys of life out weigh the pain. In the moment we may think that this trial will never end. But let me tell you something, it will. The biggest trial I have ever faced in my life is still ongoing, but I will be able to get through it. I will not lie, I have had so many thoughts of just giving up. I know that giving up is not the answer. If I gave up, then the enemy would win. It's not the light at the end of the tunnel that is helping me along, it's the light throughout the tunnel that is making this journey a little easier.

I Deserve Happiness

I deserve everything that makes me happy. And those people who have not been there for me, then today is the day that I will no longer let you drag me down. These people I speak of probably don't know that they have affected me negatively, but all the same, they have. And I let them. Its days like this that I love. I realize that I have been dragged down to the deepest hole in the darkness. It's like the story of the lobster being cooked, the lobster had no idea what was happening to him until it was too late. But today, I write to tell you that I will not let other people's silence make me silent. No. We only let people influence our lives if we let them. I have learned that other people's opinions or judgements should not affect you to the point where you feel defeated. I will not let these people's lack of conversation drag me down any further. Today is the day that I will put them behind me. I deserve happiness.

Family

I have always been grateful for my family, but until this year I didn't know how much they really mean to me. They have been there for me when I needed them most. My parents dropped everything and came and got me from school because I was going through a really rough time. That time is not over, but I'm on a brighter road than I was before. It feels so good being home.

We may have things in our lives that really challenge us, whether it be school or just life in general. But let's not ever forget that there must be a certain darkness to see the stars. Those stars are one of the most beautiful things on this planet. We must go through certain trials in life to truly understand ourselves. We all go through a phase when we search for ourselves and try to understand why this one thing brings us down. But we need to learn to embrace our weaknesses and make them as if they are our strengths. No one will be wiser. If you have a tough time with this, fake it until you mean it; it works, trust me. 

Focus on the positive. If you do this then you will be a much happier person. If there are people who do not offer to help you when you are going through a tough time and they can sense it, then forget them. Focus on yourself and heal. Those who really matter in your life will at least make an effort to stay in your life and offer a hand. My question for you is: Why do some people not talk to you when they know you are going through a tough trial? 

I cannot say it enough, I am so grateful for my family! I would not be in the state I am without them. Even though I may not show it sometimes, I love them so much that words cannot express it! I frickin' love my family!

We All Have Our Struggles

I decided that I should write a little about my personal life because I just needed to get it out in some form :) So here it goes!

I know the majority of my posts have been about struggles. It's because I'm going through some of my own and I need to write some positive words for myself so that I can go back and read them when I am having a bad day. This past week has been probably one of the toughest in awhile. I won't go into any grueling detail, but it hasn't been pretty. As some of you know, I am going home this weekend for the rest of the semester. Why? To figure out things, my life. There's more to it, but that's all I'm going to say. One thing that has helped me a lot through out yesterday and today is an email that I got yesterday. This person, let's give him the name of Michael for the sake of privacy. Michael and I have written nearly every week while he is on his mission. He has one year left, and it can't go by fast enough. People ask if I am waiting for him, I tell them that if I don't have a serious boyfriend before then, then yes. But if I do find someone I could marry before he gets home, then so be it. But anyways, I wrote him Sunday telling him what is going on in my life right now and he wrote back the next day saying that he has gone through the exact same thing. It is so comforting that someone that close to me has gone through the same thing I am going through right now. It differs from person to person, but it's so nice to have someone to talk to who actually understands what I am going through even if he is 3,000 miles away. 

Aside from all the personal stuff, the quote above has helped me deal with my trials that I am going through right now. Some nights I go to bed almost in tears because that day was so hard, but I know that if I just cry it out and pray for strength for the next day, I will be able to make it through in one piece. We all go through trials to make us stronger. We may be weak now, but over time we will be able to overcome our struggles and be stronger for it. We may not feel strong now, but we will. You will be strong after this is all over, just give yourself time. The influential people of our time were not born over night, they labored all their lives to become who they are now. Patience is key to life. Everything happens in its own time. We may want a certain trial over and done with, but we have to go through it to become the person we are meant to become. Things that are hard to come by and take time, are the best things to have in life. Our most treasured friendships have been well taken care of and we strive to keep them alive. But that isn't without great sacrifice and heartache. If you stay friends with someone for longer than a few months, then it's likely that you have gone through a rough patch. But if you care enough about that person, then you will do anything to repair the damage, and your friendship will be stronger because of it. When we have setbacks of any sort in a relationship, we need to learn to talk to the other person about it. If we talk about the road blocks, then we will know what the other person is thinking and you won't have to encounter any awkwardness further down the road. Treasure the friendships you have now and nurture them. But one of the most important friendships you can have is with your family because no matter what, your family will always be there for you. When we are going through something hard, turn towards your family and they will help you through it. This is one thing that I have learned this past week. My family will always be there for me, even when I don't want to talk to them. They have always been there for me, even when I had no idea that they were. I'm giving a huge shout out to my mom, dad, sister, and brother for being there for me when I am going through this trial. I love you guys to the moon and back! Stay close to your family and you will always have a listening ear for when you need to talk :) One thing that Michael told me that has helped me was "Mads, life gets tough, that is life. If it wasn't tough something is wrong in the heavens. But things are hard for you. Good that means God still loves you. I have a thought for you, a quote more or less. "Satan wants to bring us down. What he doesn't realize is that in the process he is bringing us to our knees, where we can be humbled before God."" When we face tough trials, we need to realize that God is putting us through this because he loves us and knows that this trial will make us a better person. Be strong, you've got this. You can do it, I know you can. Keep finding things that make you happy, whether it be reading a book or being around certain people, go do it and be happy! You have been given life, the least you can do is enjoy it and be happy! Even as hard as it may be some days to be happy, know that tomorrow will be better :)

Thanks for reading! Until next time :)

Madi

Look for the Positive

We may not be satisfied with who we are today. We all encounter setbacks, whether great or small. It takes time to overcome these obstacles. We need to allow ourselves the time we need to recover from the setbacks of life. Some days will be better than others, but we need to stay positive and focus on the moments that make us happy. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy. Start right now. You may not want to be happy because life is dragging you down and you see no other choice. But look around you, there is always at least one person who is willing to aide you to your own rescue. Always. We may not realize it, but we have support in everyday situations, whether good or bad. Life might throw us curve balls, but we need to intercept the curve balls with the right angle. That angle just might save us from ourselves. Not "just might", it will.We are stronger than we think we are. Keep your chin up. If today is your worst day, it can only get better from here, right? Don't stop trying. You got this. Stay positive. Smile :) You are an amazing person, and who is to tell you that you aren't?! Punch them in the face...seriously, it'll make you feel better ;) You, my darling, are closer today than you were yesterday to becoming the person you have always wanted to become. Look up, the sun is shining, you should be shining too. Shine on. Look for the positive in your life.